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Baldwin Bullies

Just wanted to get some feed back or opinions. Have you or know those that have or are currently dealing with bully issues in the Baldwin schools. This can be at any grade level, but I am hearing quite a bit of parents that are struggling with it at the JR High and High School level.

November 1, 2010

Baldwin Bullies

Comments

baldwinks 3 years, 5 months ago

I am hearing a lot of parents struggling with this issue as well. My children are in the elementary grades and the amount of bullying that has already taken place this school year concerns me. Though my children have been able to stand up to some of this I do know that many others are not able to. It is beginning young.

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

Please, parents, do everyone a favor. Don't blame the schools for bullies. If children are bullies, it is directly relational to how they are/have been raised at home. Yes, it would be nice for the schools to always be able to spot it and do the exact right thing to put a stop to it once and for all, but let's be honest and realize that they cannot and will never be able to always stop bullying. Every school in the US struggles with it at some point. Parents, it is up to us.

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baldwinmom10 3 years, 5 months ago

I have to disagree with you, While the parents do often contribute, even inadvertantly, to the problem, by not teaching enough compassion or fairness, there are many, many bullies currently enrolled in our very own schools that are succumbing to peer pressure. How many time have we heard " I can't understand why he/she would do that. I didn't raise them that way". It's like a cold, It can start out with one person, but someone else will start doing it too, then another and so on. Not to mention that kids are just mean to each other! It wasn't so long ago that we were in school that we should not be able to remember the viciousness of our peers.

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true_bulldog 3 years, 5 months ago

Couldn't agree more bloggerboo. Too bad that doesn't happen.

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baldwinmom10 3 years, 5 months ago

The schools have a huge hand in the severity of bullying in the sense that they don't make enough effort stop it.

Most School districts have a generic copy/paste policy on paper, if that. If we as parents would be more proactive in our schools harrasment and bullying policies we could see implemented, not only a policy against bullying, but a positive support system for victims.

With the new consolodation more than likely in our futures no matter how badly we don't want it and no matter how detrimental it will be to our community, one thing will be for certain! Bullying will only increse in our lower grades due to larger numbers of students with not enough adults, which will give it an earlier hold on our children.

One huge thing that could be done to prevent alot of future bullying in our schools is to make the problem more public.... ~we have "say no to drugs" week, why not block bulllies week? ~there are "say no to drugs" posters in all our schools, but have any of you seen a bright eye catching poster in any of the halls denouncing bullying?

The possibilities of things that we could be doing are endless, yet here we sit with no policy to speak of and our children not wanting to go to school. What is wrong w/ this picture?

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

I call BS here, Baldwinmom10. Have you been to any of the schools recently? I have seen anti-bullying posters in all of the schools I have been to. Sometimes you have to actually go into a classroom to see it, but the kids are being inundated with these things, and the others you mentioned. Not to mention there have been special assembly's from time to time regarding this issue.

And yet, it continues. It always will until parents step up and actually do something about it with their own children.

From the BHS Handbook:

The board of education prohibits bullying in any form on school property, in a school vehicle or at a school-sponsored activity or event. The administration shall propose, and the board shall review and approve a plan to address bullying on school property, in a school vehicle or at a school-sponsored activity or event. The plan shall include provisions for the training and education of staff members and students and shall include appropriate community involvement as approved by the board. Students who have bullied others in violation of this policy may be subject to disciplinary action, up to and including suspension and expulsion. If appropriate, students who violate the bullying prohibition policy shall be reported to local law enforcement by school administrators. Students that perceive they are being bullied by another student need to report the incident to a Teacher, Counselor, School Resource Officer and/or Administrator. A report will be filed and an investigation will be conducted by the BHS administration.

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TheOnlyGreyghost 3 years, 5 months ago

Yeah--they do have posters slapped on the walls. The board has policies prohibiting bullying.... But a lot of stuff still goes on and is either ignored or handled incompetently. I have to agree with Baldwinmom10. She makes some valid points.

Can't tell you how many times I have observed bigger or more aggressive kids purposely intimidating other kids at the PC. What happened when one of the picked-on kids reported the incident to whomever was "supervising"? That teacher or para would tell him or her, "Go tell So&So you do not like what he did and that he needs to stop it. Use your WORDS!"

In other words, a kid who is already intimidated by some young bruiser is told to "use her words" to put that bully in his place. That will stop him! Yessirree! What a brilliant concept!

They should sell this idea to domestic abuse shelter therapists, who can then teach battered women to just "use your words!" and tell hubby she does not like it when he knocks her teeth out or bruises her kidneys.

This will revolutionize the handling of abuse cases. Before long, those bullies will just snap out of it and say, "What was I thinking?! I was sure she would love collecting her incisors off the floor, but whaddaya know? She doesn't! I'm never gonna do this again! Think how much we'll save on concealer makeup!"

If the policies you mention were actually carried out--or if all the supervisors on the playground (where a huge amount of the problems occur) spent less time talking to each other and more time strolling around picking up snippets of conversation or catching some of the covert shoving and other intimidating moves that go on, a lot of these kids could be redirected and retrained before they graduated to really dangerous bullying in later years. And if the timid or smaller kids knew that someone had their backs, they would gain the confidence they need to eventually stand up for themselves as they get older.

I believe they do a better job at the IC, and can't say about the junior high or high school. But it's precisely at the PC level that the most good could be done by observing better vigilance and supporting the bullied before those kids get used to the idea that they are not safe in their own school. And that's where the aggressive types need to be set back on their heels and shown, in no uncertain terms, that their actions will not be tolerated. They don't need to be suspended at that age; they need to be corrected..

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baldwinmom10 3 years, 5 months ago

Thank You Ghost! That was an amazingly insightful post! I can only hope that some of the blind or misguided followers on this blog will read your words and perhaps see that there are 2 sides to bullying, there is the bully's side: He is on top of the world people are scared of him! While somewhere in their lives they are lacking a vital something that has re-manifested itself negativity, And the bullies parents who, like all parents only want to believe the very best of their children, and they don't get the daily reports of THEIR kids being picked on, so they tend to be more on the "The situation is not as you make it appear" side. The Victims Side: Dreads going to school everyday because they know they are going to be tortured by one means or another, Name calling, kicking, tripping, teasing, being ostracized, etc. , If he tell on the bullies then he is a snitch and things get 10x worse. And because, there are not enough staff at our schools,( due to budget cuts) to properly supervise that many students (which will only be worse if the consolidation happens), that leaves a lot of time that bullies can get those jabs in.

I guess it all just depends on how you look at it!

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

Ok, so you've just deftly described how bullying works. Thanks for that. However, you haven't said one thing other than a few folks during recess need to listen in on kids' conversations and be more aware. Ok, great. That might help with some of this.

Now, why don't you consider reality. Have you been a teacher? Have you been an administrator? I have. I have taught in area high schools and I am just trying to explain to you that it is not nearly so easy to defeat bullies if you don't have parents at home willing to engage and help try to tackle this issue. Somehow, I have been labeled a bully myself on this thread because I am defending the school district and teachers. Oh my, what have I done? I am not on the bash USD 348 bandwagon. This is a nationwide problem, right? For some reason we have to bash our little district who has many very capable teachers and administrators, again, for a job that needs to be handled at home, by the parents. I'll agree, it is better if the parents and districts work together, but if parents won't engage at all, the game is lost.

Could the district create better policies? Maybe. Would those policies be enforced in such a way that bullying is eliminated? Probably not. It is a very, very difficult job and to come on here and slam our teachers and administrators over it is unnecessary. Go speak with your teacher, the principal, and the board. But more importantly, everyone needs to take a look at the policies they are using at home. How could I possibly be wrong about this?

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TheOnlyGreyghost 3 years, 5 months ago

Blogger~ Obviously, parents should do their utmost at home to ensure that their own children are neither bully nor bullied. But let's get real, here. Some parents are the problem behind the bullied or the overly submissive kids! Others try to be on top of things but don't get a true view of what's going on at school--especially if their kid is a perfect little Eddie Haskell, who charms adults while sneakily doing underhanded things and rarely getting caught.

It's absurd to claim that we are "bashing" the district or the poor, saintly staff just because we are relating tendencies we have seen time and again. Do you really think they are doing so wonderful a job that they are above constructive criticism? Have I or any other "basher" on this thread claimed that they should all be fired or that all are at fault? No. We are pointing out flaws in the system and suggesting ways in which to amend them.

You seem to have a quaint idea that a bully is some sneering, fist-waving cliche and that the victim can take the wind out of his sails by "simply walking away and not escalating a fight or argument." Really? What makes you think the bully WANTS a fight or argument?

More likely scenario: Bully walks up to a line of kids waiting for the tire swing, inserts himself in front of a little girl, and looks at her defiantly. Yeah, walking away is an option for her--probably just what the bully wants. She can't fight him--so she waits longer for her turn.

An adult needs to intervene, both for the littler one's sake but also for the bully's-- to prevent his being rewarded for being a line-jumping ass.

I've seen certain kids scatter items that another kid is putting away--just to make that kid have to gather the stuff up again. A small thing, maybe, but repeated over the course of a week or a school year and you have a picture of a mean-spirited kid who likes to annoy and control others. If the picker-upper complains, the bully lies about it and they are both told to "use their words" to "settle the dispute." Observation is needed.

I have seen things like this in the classroom, on the playground, and in the lunchroom. Obviously, there are not enough adults to catch everything that goes on--all the more reason for the adults who ARE there to pay attention instead of using recess as a time to catch up on gossip or chat.

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

I never advocated telling kids to user their words to deal with bullies. In fact, actually try reading my post in reply to the cheese guy below. Nevermind, I'll re-post it now:

This is all I need to know about you. But, to point out why I say that, why didn't you teach your child to defend themselves with a means by which they didn't escalate an issue? Because, if I extrapolate correctly here, the means to defend oneself from a physical attack is with similar harsh physical attack? How does this benefit the children?

I am all for standing up for oneself, and there are times when you have no choice, but when you do have options, maybe they should be explored. For example, walking away and ignoring a bully is better than escalating a fight or argument, in my opinion. You often risk getting in as much or more trouble than the bully, because let's face it, teachers are human and cannot see every action of every child in time to prevent it or even catch it. They often see only the retaliation. That is life and it is prevalent in all sorts of endeavors, not just grade school bullying.

You need to prepare your children by teaching them to be respectful of others, compassionate and sympathetic, and to inform authorities when the situation calls for it. Those are hard things to teach and hard to learn, but if we all strive for it, maybe we would see progress being made in this area.

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Nathaniel Johnson 3 years, 5 months ago

BloggerBoo I am not really certain if you were responding to me so I will answer your questions as best I can. I have never been a teacher but my wife is a Kansas certified teacher and works as a para (job market you know) in Lawrence. My father taught in inner city middle school and High school Math in Long Beach CA and Topeka after he retired. I once wrote a long article on the state of research into Bullying. This is why I have quoted Bliwas. I do not believe that it is the schools fault per-se but rather the see-no-evil attitude prevalent among parents and students. Most parents do not recognize when their child is participating in exclusionary behaviors. We all tend toward thinking that our little angel couldn't be bullying. You seem to feel that because I agree with Nancy Crisp that I disagree with you and that is not the case. Current bullying programs are designed to prevent and it really is much better today than say 10,20,30 years ago. Certainly the public has a heightened sense of what the problems are, especially among girls. The problem with the current methods is that they do not reflect the psychological reality of bullying. Criminal law provides for self defense as a means of protecting oneself from harm. Why should kids have a different set of standards than adults. As a teacher you have some definite disadvantages in addition to your advantages. You see one year in the life a child, not their entire childhood. The remedies that are often prescribed deal with immediate concerns but leave the underlying problems to fester and eventually resurface.

I do not disagree with teaching your child to be compassionate and sympathetic, even calling in the authorities is good. It is just that immediate remedy is so much better. Read Bliwas. Bullying is not just about the perpetrator and the victim but also about the witnesses. That is typically who the perpetrator is trying to influence. The roles that the various onlookers play are just as important. So, having thought a great deal about the values I want my daughter to have, I have tried to instill in her the idea that she has responsibilities even in situations where she is not directly involved. Sometimes that means providing comfort, sometimes it means verbally smacking down an aggressor, and sometimes it means physically interceding. Responsibility doesn't begin or end at a confrontation, but that is the point at which it is most important to act. Compassion is not a passive action.

Also, if you really know something about bullying, you wouldn't post anonymously. Bullies thrive on anonymity.

Nathaniel Johnson gruyere.emmentaler@gmail.com

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TheOnlyGreyghost 3 years, 5 months ago

Perhaps you're the one who needs to do some rereading. Regarding the lame "use your words" dictum, I never said anything about YOU advocating that--I was clearly talking about school personnel.

I reread my own comment just to make sure I hadn't worded it ambiguously. So please don't insert yourself into a comment just so you can then act like your feathers have been ruffled.

I'm glad we're agreed on that, at least--it's a stupid, ineffectual thing to tell a kid when there's already an imbalance of power and the "words" stand no chance of changing the bully's behavior. But I have heard that dictum time and time again--on the playground and in classrooms, leaving the picked-on kid feeling doubly wronged.

Eventually, an intimidated child simply stops reporting incidents, which is possibly what the more lazy personnel is hoping for all along. They don't want to be bothered to actually do something about the bullies. Kudos to personnel who wade in, take an active stand, and use those moments as a teaching tool. We need more who will do this.

As much as parents try to do at home (and most, I think, really do want their kids to be good citizens), school personnel get more and better chances to teach kids how to handle bullies or not be bullies, since school is the place where the kids interact with each other the most. Talking about it at home, while essential, is not the same as taking immediate action "in the moment."

Sending a bully to the end of the line he has barged in on is a lot more effective than expecting parents to "deal" with the incident after school.

The bully is not going to go home and proudly tell Mom what he did so that she can make him write an apology and forgo the tireswing for a week as a penalty.

The picked-on kid will either suck it up (since s/he is getting used to not being heard) or confide in a parent later--at which point, the parent can try to advise her for "the next time," while knowing that the shy 1st grader is not going to challenge the taller, older brat who smirks at her after shoving into the line--and that the scene will be repeated until an observant adult makes it clear that such behavior will not be tolerated.

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

Um,maybe I thought that because your comment was a REPLY to mine. Or at least it is threaded that way.

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baldwinks 3 years, 5 months ago

Are you saying our district does NOT have any type of bullying policy? If that is correct I agree something is wrong.

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baldwinmom10 3 years, 5 months ago

Sadly the following 2 paragraphs appear on page 14 of our district handbook and are all that exist for a Bullying Policy! What is even more sad, is that these exact 2 paragraphs can be copy and pasted from the Kansas State Board of Education website as a generic disclaimer for bullying. So you are absolutly right "baldwinks", Something is wrong!!!

"The Board of Education prohibits bullying in any form on school property, in a school vehicle or at a school-sponsored activity or event. The administration shall propose, and the Board shall review and approve a plan to address bullying on school property, in a school vehicle or at a school-sponsored activity or event. The plan shall include provisions for the training and education of staff members and students and shall include appropriate community involvement as approved by the Board. Students who have bullied others in violation of this policy may be subject to disciplinary action, up to and including suspension and expulsion. If appropriate, students who violate the bullying prohibition shall be reported to local law enforcement.

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Stacy Napier 3 years, 5 months ago

You all need to get a life and get over it. I went to school over 20 years ago and yes there were bullies. Yes I was bullied some times. I never went home and wanted to kill myself or plan some mass shooting. Schools are not about raising your children. They are about teaching academics.

It is all about the parents. How many parents blame the school when they disipline their children and side with their child instead of the adults at school.

There are bullies everywhere and as adults we have to deal with it. If a kid gets into a fight deal with it. If your kid can't take the name calling (or any other bullying) then he needs to stand up to the bully and learn to defend themselves. That is just part of learning to live in society.

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NanCrisp 3 years, 5 months ago

It is against every school's "zero tolerance" policy for anyone to stand up to a bully. If your child attempts to defend him/herself, he/she will get detention or ISS or whatever is the particular school's punishment under the zero tolerance rules.

Also, adults do not have to deal with bullies. There are laws that protect adults from harrassment and assault.

Today's bullies are not what adults would typically think of. It is not the "miscreants" of society who are picking on others in the schools. It is the group that the kids refer to as "populars." The very children that teachers, adminstrators and parents tend to support and uphold as the "best" are the ones most likely to engage in bullying activities. Why? Because bullying is not about lack of a proper upbringing. Bullying is about power. And those who have it, flaunt it. As long as they receive positive strokes from peers and adults alike, bullies will continue their practices. As long as they feel powerful, they will wield that power against those they believe to be powerless. How do teachers and administrators enable bullies? By enforcing rules such as "zero tolerance" that take even more power away from the bullied while doing nothing to diminish the power of the bullies.

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

You are so full of nonsense it is hard to see how you even function day-to-day. Please show me the zero-tolerance policy in effect at USD 348.

Bullying is now about lack of proper upbringing? So, parents are teaching their kids to be mean and disrespectful to others? What a bunch of bull. I know hundreds of kids who are popular AND nice to others and would/have never chose to bully anyone. It always starts at home, Nan.

It sounds to me like you had a bad experience, or your children did, and now, whatever those circumstances were, you assume them to be universally true.

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Nathaniel Johnson 3 years, 5 months ago

I believe that Nancy Crisp makes the argument that it starts at home and it is naive to think that children are always nice or that bullying is always obvious. Ostracizing a child is a more common a form of bullying that is difficult to see for parents and teachers alike.

As for the zero tolerance policy. What I think that she is saying is that a child should be able to defend themselves against physical bullying. I found it useful to prepare my child by teaching her how to turn verbal abuse back on the abuser through harsh comebacks which is the verbal means to defend oneself.

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

"I found it useful to prepare my child by teaching her how to turn verbal abuse back on the abuser through harsh comebacks which is the verbal means to defend oneself."

This is all I need to know about you. But, to point out why I say that, why didn't you teach your child to defend themselves with a means by which they didn't escalate an issue? Because, if I extrapolate correctly here, the means to defend oneself from a physical attack is with similar harsh physical attack? How does this benefit the children?

I am all for standing up for oneself, and there are times when you have no choice, but when you do have options, maybe they should be explored. For example, walking away and ignoring a bully is better than escalating a fight or argument, in my opinion. You often risk getting in as much or more trouble than the bully, because let's face it, teachers are human and cannot see every action of every child in time to prevent it or even catch it. They often see only the retaliation. That is life and it is prevalent in all sorts of endeavors, not just grade school bullying.

You need to prepare your children by teaching them to be respectful of others, compassionate and sympathetic, and to inform authorities when the situation calls for it. Those are hard things to teach and hard to learn, but if we all strive for it, maybe we would see progress being made in this area.

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Nathaniel Johnson 3 years, 5 months ago

"This is all I need to know about you."

Your need to insult me makes me think that you do not understand the basic problems with bullying - since you just engaged in a form of it. Why would you engage in a dialogue that way?

I think it is more important to confront bullies than to turn it over to the authorities. All people, even children, have an obligation to confront bullies. This is the foundation of personal responsibility. We can't address bullying by hiding behind authority figures. The damage is never addressed that way. You may not care for my opinion but I believe that the studies that have been done will bare out my views.

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

Whatever. I did not bully you. I just disagree completely with you. And, I am explaining why and how. Let's not get too hypersensitive here.

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Nathaniel Johnson 3 years, 5 months ago

I think Nancy Crisp is entirely correct. The combination of zero tolerance and anti-bullying creates a double bind for kids in which they damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Also her comments about the groupings that most of us grew up with fits with what my daughter has told me. My daughter doesn't see the kind of social stratifying that was the norm in my childhood.

Nancy Crisp is also right about the dynamics and who is most likely to be a bully. My personal feeling is that if a child sees the power/compliance relationship in their parents, they will act on it at school. I think parents do not realize how harmful it is to foster the belief that they are somehow superior to another group of people but parents still do it. Think about all the groupings we create in our world that really have no relevance in a child's world. Money, politics, education, and religion all come to mind.

The current bullying programs in our schools are based on a Swedish researcher named Bliwas. I think we need to move beyond what he researched and start addressing bullying in ways more relevant to our culture.

Nathaniel Johnson gruyere.emmentaler@gmail.com

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baldwinresident 3 years, 4 months ago

This could not be more correct! I am a senior at Baldwin High School and for starters I would like to say that I am around these students all day and have not noticed this bullying "epidemic" that everyone seems to be describing. That being said, there is definitely some bullying that goes on and NanCrisp has hit the nail on the head. The majority of bullying I have witnessed comes from the most "popular" students. These students make a show of insulting kids with less charisma and social skill. This is a problem, however all BHS students are already forced to watch bullying videos at some point in their high school career, and many of the juniors and seniors do a great job of influencing younger students in a positive way. It is really a part of the maturing process that you undergo during your high school career. The students that picked on kids when they were Freshmen are now either outstanding people, or because of the lack of positive feedback from their peers, they have simply stopped the bullying behavior. I am proud to be a student at BHS and I have heard horror stories about the schools in our area that make me very happy to be where I am.

-Brandon Baltzell

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citymole 3 years, 5 months ago

"If a kid gets into a fight deal with it. If your kid can't take the name calling (or any other bullying) then he needs to stand up to the bully and learn to defend themselves. That is just part of learning to live in society. "

WOW!! These victims of bullying do stand up for themselves... Sadly its in the form of coming to schools with rifles, murdering their classmates and then killing themselves! Then people like you wonder why your child's brains are plastered on the lockers....

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Julie Craig 3 years, 5 months ago

There is a policy. It is sad to see that some principals turn a blind eye to discipline issues at the schools for their "favorites." Not only bullying, but a lot of issues.

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baldwinmom10 3 years, 5 months ago

You might want to do some research Gazoo, there is no policy... Please see page 14 of our district handbook.... There are 2 paragraphs copy and pasted from the KSBE website. But I agree with what you say about the disipline issues at our schools. That is 90% of the time a huge reason kids get by w/ being a bully. Sad!

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Bloggerboo 3 years, 5 months ago

Um, mom, take a look above. I posted the BHS student handbook's portion covering bullying. This situation is not nearly as bad as you make it appear to be. It is one thing to call for more action from our district, administrators, and teachers...just don't sit there and say nothing exists except a copy and paste job. That is not the case at all. Are you even reading my posts?

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citymole 3 years, 5 months ago

Hey BloogerBoo... can you find that for me in the BJHS handbook?? Not seeing it.......

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citymole 3 years, 5 months ago

And after speaking with Administrative.... there is not a SPECIFIC policy in place. It says No Bullying but there is yet a policy to layout the disciplinary actions and how much bull*** they will take from the tyrants before they actually do something to them ! The policy is still "in the development stage"...

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baldwinmom10 3 years, 5 months ago

Blogger: I did see that you had posted that above, but thank you for pointing that out. I will concede that YOUR situation with bullying at our schools made not be bad, there ARE students who's situations ARE bad! How can you post such nonsense on a public forum? WOW! And, for your information, I did do my research before posting on this site so I can testify that it is indeed a copy and paste job! If you require I will be happy to supply you with the link I found the information on! And lastly Mr. Blogger, I have been, unfortunately, reading your posts and, am no undoubtedly scratching my head along with every other person that read them, as we wonder how ignorant one person can possibly be!

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citymole 3 years, 5 months ago

baldwinmom10----Just FYI Bloggerboo just likes to spread their nasty, negative venom on this post as they do on ALL posts. You can bet you will see a name TORCH and BLOGGERBOO quite a bit on anything you read on the signal. and another thing you will see is how their are negative, insulting and better then everyone, get over it attitude gets to me very irritating... you will learn to ignore them like we all do !

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baldwinmom10 3 years, 5 months ago

You see, citymole, that is where I have a problem! It is "ignoring them" that has caused them to be the bullies they are today! I feel badly that they were not helped as children, perhaps then, they would not publicly humiliate themselves, by showing their complete lack of intelligence on a public forum. But I see that ignorance is bliss for them, apparently.

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citymole 3 years, 5 months ago

Your right.. Ignoring them is not a good idea... what else would I get a good laugh at if I wasn't reading their posts...

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sawman 3 years, 5 months ago

Your(citymole) inability to know when to use 'you're' and not 'your'? Say it with me, you are right, you're right, not your right, unless we're talking about your right to be ignorant. It is either possessive or a contraction and it's not hard to determine which to use.

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baldwinks 3 years, 5 months ago

Another point to make is that some young children are standing up to their bully only to get in trouble for it. This has happened at the PC. A teacher or para may not see or hear the entire story thus the bully is off the hook while the child standing up gets in trouble. In many cases there are two sides to every story. Children should be taught and supported to stand up to a bullly. They should not be getting in trouble for it.

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TheOnlyGreyghost 3 years, 5 months ago

Standing ovation. Every "educator" and every other school employee needs to read your post and know that it is right on the money. Many of the bullies are Eddie Haskell types (for want of a better image) who have perfected the art of sneaky attack, followed by nonchalance and a "who, me?" facial expression. The kids they pick on are often socially awkward in the first place and tend to react in a way that draws the negative attention to themselves. The bully then continues to act innocent, lying through his teeth, while earnestly locking eyes with whatever adult has been drawn to the situation by the picked-on kid's outburst. Picked-on kid is subsequently punished, warned, or effectively told that he's making something out of nothing and being disruptive.

This happens again and again. Some of the staff are aware of SOME of the brats who are very good at this. Other staff members are snowed by them and continue to let them get away with things. And even the BEST staffers can't see/hear everything, especially when the most skillful bullies are actively looking for moments when staffers' attention is drawn to another situation.

There are no easy solutions, but it is incumbent on all staffers and as many parents who can spend some time at the school helping out to pay attention and catch as much as possible.

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baldwinmom10 3 years, 5 months ago

Wow! There is just so much to say! I will start with "walking away!" That is a fantastic stratagy and one that I tried to implement my own child through his elementary and Jr. high school years as he was victimized and bullied (not in this district) So what do you suggest when the bully follows you, or when they victim is outnumbered and CAN'T walk away?

Second~ No one is "bashing teachers or administration" but the reality is that budget cuts and misuse of fund in the past years have seen larger class sizes and reduced numbers of staff, ultimatly leading to the inablility of staff to provide proper supervision. "Ghost" only suggested one way to help...be more vigilant.

Third~ I think everyone on this blog can agree that parents do need to take a more active roll in preparing their children for the reality of bullies, and be more active in the school to help stop existing bullying and prevent future bullying. Will we be able to eliminate it? No. However, should we just throw up our hands and accept it as a way of life for our children? Absolutly not! Compassion and Sympathy are important morals to teach all our children, the problem is that often its our victims that have learned that and the bullies that have not! After all, it would seem to me that if our bullies showed some compassion and sympathy, they would not be preying on the smaller, weaker, or more sensitive.

Fourth~ To Bloggerboo---- I did not label you as a bully for defending our teachers and staff, I did it because the only way YOU could see to make your point was to tell, or insinuate to the other people, also trying to make their point, that they were stupid. Seems to me that bullies use much the same tactic to make themselves seem bigger, better and smarter!

Last~ As Baldwinks has pointed out our children who are victimized by bullies are in a loose-loose situation. Here is how it goes down most of the time....bully says something offensive or mean, or kicks, pushes, hits, etc. ... while there is noone looking or close enough to hear.... now the victim who usually has had him fill, finally retaliates and is the one who is louder or more noticable in their reaction, because it is not as calculated, and is the one who is seen or heard. So they (the victim) is the one who is punished because they are they are the only ones who were seen/heard. This is a comman game played by bullies to further victimize.

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sawman 3 years, 5 months ago

Lose. The word is spelled with one 'o' for crimony sake. Loose-loose conjers up thoughts of diarrhea or the dogs got out the gate. Cows get loose, there are loose women and saggers wear loose fitting pants. You lose money, lose time, and it's a lose-lose situation thinking I won't once again come upon this misspelling of LOSE.

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angelsunwall 3 years, 5 months ago

I think everyone understood what she was saying and don't believe your immature spelling lesson was needed.

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hipgrrrrl 3 years, 5 months ago

We should all discount blog. Addressing her lambasting of all who don't enthusiastically embrace her posts indicates she has something of importance to say.

On point, however, I would like to say that I had three siblings that were bullied - two of them rather mercilessly. My parents tried to help them figure out how to deal with it but didn't actually address the school until my sister was stabbed in the arm with a pencil by one of her worst tormentors. Of course, this was in the late 70's, and nothing was really done about that incident. I guess the attitude was kids will be kids and pencil stabbing was nothing to get upset about. I truly think my parents didn't know what to do. They worked with their kids to try to teach them how to diminish the bullying, they finally went into the school and then they had no clue what to do from there.

I have different ideas about things. I take my role as protector and advocate for my children very seriously. I've never understood parents who are timid about addressing issues with any educator/administrator. Frankly, it is their job to make sure that my child is educated and safe while in their care. We all know where the funding for public education comes from and seeing as the employees of our school districs are public servants, I, as one of their employers, expect that they will do their job. If not, they will not have the opportunity to care for my child - or to collect the state funds that come with that responsibility. They will also have the opportunity to deal with a lawsuit regarding their negligence in providing a safe learning environment for my kid(s).

I'm pretty easy going about life in general, but not about this - probably in part due to the damage that was done to my siblings. It is only right to give the schools an understanding of what is going on with one's child and allow them to address the problem. If not addressed, I'm not one who would be willing to sit around saying "well, there's nothing I can do..." because there is a lot to be done. There are also precedents being set all over the county (Tonganoxie, in fact) holding schools responsible for curtailing bullying. It is becoming a real liablity issue and costs them money.

Sad how it all goes back to the money, isn't it?

However, I'm not sure what we can expect from kids when parents have turned their parenting responsibilities over to the entity of public education...which, quite frankly, has become more of a situation of public warehousing. I really feel for any teacher who is trying to be an effective educator today.

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